Sunday, November 18, 2018

Thoughts for Thanksgiving


This week we celebrate Thanksgiving, and while it’s my favorite holiday of the year, sometimes my family and extended family can be a bit challenging when we gather. Some of them want to bring up old grievances or talk about politics or topics that rekindle old issues and cause divisiveness. The turkey doesn’t taste quite as good when there is bitterness in our mouths. But, there are ways to manage through the holiday that build connection and mutual appreciation.

Over the past year-and-a-half, we have been fortunate in welcoming Jada Monica Drew of Social Designs to our school each month to help us learn how to have better conversations with each other and, as was our topic last week, with our children. Her Dialogue Principals are universal and designed to help any conversation go more smoothly.

Jada recommends five steps to better conversations. She offers that we should always start with being curious when someone says something that kindles a strong emotion by asking why they feel the way that they do and, perhaps, how they came to think the way that way. The second step is to listen, or as Jada puts it, “Listen to the 3d power!” Then, affirm the person through body language or saying something such as, “I can see how you have come to think/believe that way.” The next step is to acknowledge your bias or beliefs and then clarify to make sure that you understand the other person. Now, you are ready to connect and to create and share what you are learning from the other person and how it might influence your thinking. Not all conversations come to conclusion or closure immediately, so it’s important to accept that there may not be closure to the conversation in that moment, yet perspectives are broadened, understandings gained and the possibilities for future dialogue remains.

It’s not always easy to follow these steps, but in my experience and in the experience of those who have used them, these Dialogue Principles help conversations to remain civil and often lead to greater compassion and unexpected changes in perspectives – both theirs and ours!

I wish everyone a joyous, safe and relaxing Thanksgiving filled with gratitude for family and all that we are blessed to have and experience in our lives.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Developing Intellectual, Ethical and Interpersonal Foundations


Developing in our students the intellectual, ethical and interpersonal foundations that they need to be successful lies at the core of a Greensboro Day School education. We believe that when our students posess these core foundations that they will lead fuller lives and go on to have great college experiences and become engaged, happy and productive citizens.

While the intellectual and ethical elements of our mission are more easily seen in our academic programs and honor system, the interpersonal development that we do with our students is not as easily seen. This work takes place primarily in our advisory system in the middle and upper schools and through our Second Step program in the lower school.

At the heart of our advisories and Second Step programs is the belief that helping our students to know themselves and to understand others will allow them to engage more productively with their peers and teachers, decrease stress and increase learning. We believe that developing our students' interpersonal foundations helps them to more fully develop their ethical and intellectual abilities.

While raising emotionally intelligent children may seem like a “soft” skill, we believe that it is critical in becoming confident, engaged and able citizens. The fact is, we are an emotionally driven species that is constantly pulled and pushed by the events around us. And, if we are not able to understand the motivations of others and why we react the way that we do, we will more than likely come to see ourselves as victims and not as capable and important contributors who have a range of skills in addressing our own needs and those of others.

Knowing that emotions drive our daily actions, it’s important to learn how to effectively deal with them. Children who know how to manage their feelings and develop emotional intelligence at an early age are more able to calm themselves and thus improve their concentration, have higher academic achievement, live in good health, and establish better relationships with their peers.

We strive each and every day to develop in our students the intellectual, ethical and interpersonal foundations that they need to become constructive contributors to the world so that they can lead happy, successful lives.