The Power of Moments

When I reflect on the traditions and experiences that bond our students as classmates and as members of our Bengal Nation at Greensboro Day School, I think of the many shared experiences that they have together. These range from the plays they are in beginning in the Lower School to being members of the student council, participating on teams, engaging in class projects and going on day and overnight trips together. I’m sure that there are many other shared experiences that take place on buses to games, during clubs and activities at parties and casual get togethers.

In their latest book, The Power of Moments, Chip and Dan Heath extol the importance of creating memorable moments whether for children, customers, families, friends or partners.  In each case the intent is to find ways to design instances of joy that create great memories and lasting bonds.

I am intrigued with finding opportunities to create memorable moments which can draw families closer together during the holiday season. Fortunately, the Heath brothers have some great thoughts on how to do that. They describe the importance of thinking ahead about ways of making deeper, more meaningful connections with families and friends.

 A great way to begin thinking about creating memorable moments is to consider your own memorable experiences. As I reflect on special times with my family, one of the most memorable was a Christmas tradition designed by my parents. 

We usually celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve with our cousins, and none of us could wait until dark and Santa’s arrival. My parents, aunts and uncles decided that in order for Santa to put gifts under the tree, all of my cousins and I would need to be out of the living room. My grandmother offered to read T’was the Night before Christmas to all her grandchildren in one of the back bedrooms of the house. This allowed our parents to put gifts from Santa under the tree and created an incredible tradition in our family.

Somehow, through a timing system I've never figured out, toward the end of my grandmother’s reading, we would hear the jingling of bells and our parents calling out to us,“Hurry up or you’ll miss Santa!” You can imagine the pandemonium as all of older and younger kids began falling over each other as we raced tumbling down the long hallway toward the living room and our parent’s voices. And, imagine our excitement and wide eyes as we turned the corner to see our parents waving goodbye to Santa as they lifted us up to the window to search for him. Then, after searching the skies, we would turn to see a sparkling tree surrounded with the gifts that Santa had left.

What a memory! I don’t know how many years this went on; I do remember some winking between the older cousins, after a few years, as they began to understand the trick, but they played along, encouraging the younger cousins race out first and to look hard for Santa through the windows.

I think that this is just the kind of “moment” that Chip and Dan Heath imagined when they wrote their book. It takes planning and commitment to create such moments, but from my experience such moments bring back warm memories of family and fond, bonding remembrances when we get together.

What powerful “moments” are you creating this holiday season and over the course of the upcoming year? I would love to hear about them!

Growth Mindsets and Exams

This week our students are concentrating on exams and it's eerily quiet in the Upper School.

But, if you walk outside and look at the sidewalk there are signs of energy and support written in chalk. Our students are so great about working together and supporting one another during times of stress. And, they have an incredible can-do attitude about most everything they do.

Many of you have heard or read about Carol Dweck and her work at Stanford University on Growth Mindsets. She defines this mindset as a belief that one's basic qualities are things that can be cultivated and improved. This, she says, is in contrast to a Fixed Mindset in which a person believes that they are born with certain talents and abilities, or disabilities, that cannot be changed.

Time and again in sports, the arts and in academic achievement I have had the opportunity to see our coaches and faculty help our students to see that they can improve both their natural talents and those that do not come easily to them. As a result, our students develop a passion for stretching themselves and sticking to it, even when things are not going well. Developing a Growth Mindset allows our students to thrive during exams and some of the most challenging times in their lives.

What impresses me the most, though, is how our students support each other when things get tough. Just another example of how we work to foster a caring, trustworthy and joyful learning community at GDS!

GDS Value Added

Part of our re-accreditation process with SAIS includes a dinner in which we invite students, parents, board members, teachers and administrators to sit a mixed tables for discussion.

I wish we could have such a gathering every night! It was like the perfect family meal where everyone jumps in with a story and tells about what they learned or did during the day. It was an incredible opportunity to hear from so many different viewpoints about what makes GDS a special place to be as a student, parent, board member or on the staff.

I was particularly impressed with the senior student at our table. She was articulate and clear about both the academic advantages and social connections that she had gained since enrolling. When asked what she thought the "value added" was to a GDS education she didn't hesitate to say that it was the day-to-day interactions with other students who were as inspired and determined as she was to do well. She described study groups that formed in her classes, teachers who held high but reasonable expectations and the many opportunities to be involved in clubs and to take leadership positions.

Most impressively, when asked how we could communicate the "value added" component of a GDS education, she quickly volunteered, "Just video tap any of us, and we will tell you!"

So, I'm dropping in a video that tells the story of two of our graduates, Jake Keeley who is now a sophomore at St. Olaf, and Katie Glaser who is now a sophomore at Georgetown.  Enjoy!

The Fairness Principle

Several of us have been reading John Rawls and his Theory of Justice which has intrigued us as we've thought about our work in Diversity, Equity and Inclusion. In this work we regularly talk about how we can do a better job of supporting each person in our community and Rawls causes us to think more deeply on this issue.

In his book, Rawls asks us to consider how we might redesign a community or society from scratch and asks us to reflect on several questions:

• How would you distribute wealth and power?
• How would you make everyone equal, or not?
• How would you define fairness and equality?

He then challenges us with one final question: What if you had to make those decisions without knowing who you would be in this new society?

He offers a process whereby decision makers could only make laws and rules from behind the Veil of Ignorance in which they would not know who they would be in this perfect society. His theory is that the rule makers would not know their natural abilities, their sex, race, nationality or individual tastes and, as a result, would create a more equitable society. He posits that in this new society everyone would have the best possible life.

As an illustration, consider a rule that some classroom teachers and families have regarding the sharing of the last cookie or last slice of pizza. The rule is: You can choose to split the last one into pieces or you can be the first to choose which piece you would like. This rule has created fairness in our house on many an occasion!

One of the questions I frequently ponder at GDS as we consider a rule or policy is, "If I did not know if this would affect me or not, would I support it?" This question allows me to mentally walk around the table and consider many different points of view before making a decision.

Although I doubt that Rawls believes that it's possible to create such a perfect society, his thoughts do tickle my thinking and make me think twice about the decisions I make and how they might affect each person or family in our community.

Social Emotional Learning at Greensboro Day School

Intelligence plus character,

That is the goal of a true education.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Greensboro Day School has focused on building and sustaining relationships since its founding in 1970. The school motto outlines friendship, scholarship and sportsmanship as essential qualities of a GDS education. These qualities were foundational in the establishment of our Honor Code in the middle and upper schools, as well as the Four Respects that guide our relationships in the lower school. It is not unusual for our students on or off campus to be commended for their respectfulness and honesty – sure signs of students developing character.

Today, we continue our tradition of building strong character in our students through a focus on Social Emotional Learning (SEL). Helping our students develop five basic skills is at the heart of our work: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills and responsible decision making. 

In one review of more than 300 SEL programs, researchers found that this approach  fosters “positive effects on students’ social-emotional skills; attitudes towards self, school, and others; social behaviors; conduct problems; emotional distress and academic performance.”

The goal of our focus on social and emotional learning is twofold. We believe that students who feel safe and comfortable are more likely not to bully other students and learn how to work collaboratively with those who have different backgrounds and ideas. We also believe that students who can develop respectful, positive relationships with adults and teachers are better able to be engaged and retain the learning that goes on in school every day.

It would be a misinterpretation of our SEL work to believe that it is only focused on  getting along with other students. The research is powerful in pointing out that students who develop positive social relationships are significantly more likely to excel in their academic studies.

Pat Basset, a past president of the National Association of Independent Schools, spoke at GDS several years ago and stressed what our school has always believed. “The leading purpose of independent schools is to provide the world with good and smart people,” said Basset. I agree! And, I have the pleasure of seeing “good and smart” students walking hand-in-hand down the hallways of our school each and every day.

I believe that each of us wants what Martin Luther King wanted for the children of our country – “intelligence plus character.” It doesn’t just happen. It takes commitment and teachers, parents and students working together. If you want proof that GDS produces such students, I would ask that you simply walk our hallways, talk with our students and read the biographies of our graduates posted in each division. You will discover both current and past students who believe in our mission and who are “constructive contributors to the world.”